1775 Days

4 years, 10 months, and 8 days. That's how long it took to receive our gift from God. Benton was born February 3, 2011 at 10:24 pm via c-section. He weighed 9 pounds 1.6 ounces and was 21 1/4 inches long. He's the most beautiful, most perfect, most amazing child in the world and I couldn't be any happier.

On Thursday, the 3rd, I had my weekly doctor's visit with Dr. Allerkamp. I was 40 weeks and 4 days. I went in, did our normal checkup routine, and then we started discussing induction. I, of course, was begging him to induce me that day. He didn't want to since he wouldn't be working and didn't want to pass me off on another doctor. Then he decided to double check the size of Benton since he's always measured large. He did an ultrasound and came up with and estimated weight of 9 pounds 15 ounces. He sat in his chair and contemplated pretty hard. He decided to call Metroplex to see if they could fit me in for an induction. After all was said and done, my doctor's appointment ended, and I drove across the street to the hospital. No time to go home and get my stuff. Nothing. Straight there I went. My doctors appointment started at 9, I got to the hospital at 10, and started pitocin at 11.

On my way to the hospital I called my mom and she got all the stuff rounded up and got to the hospital just as I was given pitocin. Dad showed up a little while later because he was still at work. I was already on the phone with Paul and it stayed that way the majority of the day. We couldn't get any kind of video messenger to work so unfortunately he didn't get to see me the whole time.

As the hours drew on, Dr Allerkamp broke my water, and the contractions got stronger and stronger. I swore I wouldn't, but the contractions got so strong that I asked for an epidural. You would swear I was the girl off The Exorcist before they gave it to me. I guess my pain tolerance isn't really as great as I thought. That, and I lost my ego of wanting to be Super Woman and just kept my options open.

After my epidural I was the happiest person alive. I was happy to be having a baby again!

Around 9 pm or so it was time to push. Pushing was actually quite entertaining because the nurse was fun, and my legs kept flopping all over the place because I couldn't feel them. We were laughing pretty good. Mom and the nurse held my legs and Dad had Paul on the phone up by my head. After an hour of pushing, the on-call doctor discussed that a c-section would be a better option. I had made no progess pushing and it looked as though Benton's head was swelling and he was trying to come out face-forward. We'd also had problems with his heart rate lowering. So around 10ish they wheeled me off to the OR and mom scrubbed up to go in with me.

My epidural was increased greatly. Couldn't feel a thing. It was really weird. I honestly wasn't scared at all. I started tearing up a little though, but that was because my little man was about to be here. As soon as they had me prepped, mom came in and sat by my head. She kept making sure I was okay. There was a lot of tugging and pulling and nausea (which the anethesiologist fixed quickly) and suddenly mom says, "They cut the cord!" and I hear him cry. And of course I started crying. Then I started feeling really nauseous again and started to feel pain on my right side. All I barely remember after that was a crazy dream about dying, my name being hollered, me kissing my son twice, and I was back out of it.

I woke up in recovery pretty sore. It wasn't near as bad as I thought it would be though. Around midnight to 1 am they wheeled me to my postpartum room. I was wheeled by my family who was in the lobby waiting room. They were all smiling and happy and saying "Good job!" "He's beautiful!" A short while later, they brought him to my room and he was just so freakin' beautiful. Perfect pink skin. Perfect eyes. Perfect nose. Perfect face. Perfect hands. Perfect toes. Perfect body. PERFECT. PERFECT. PERFECT.

After all the trouble my husband and I went through, from pain-in-the-ass doctors, to surgeries, to fertility treatments, to heartache, to c-sections, we finally got our little miracle.

WE MADE IT THROUGH HELL AND GOT OUR GIFT FROM HEAVEN.

It Hurts!

Last night I had my very first painful contraction. That or I had a spazm in my belly. I'm not sure. But it hurt like hell. Normally I sleep on my right side. I have the entire pregnancy. If I sleep on my left, I get really bad gas and it's painful to roll over. Last night I was sleeping on my left side and woke because I had to go pee. I got halfway over to my right side and this excruciating pain shot throughout my entire abdomen. So I rolled back to my left side as quickly as possible. I then tried rolling onto my belly to get on all fours. It took me a good minute to accomplish that. The pain was still barely tolerable. I somehow made it to the side of the bed, halfway dangled my legs over, and was hunched into a ball. I couldn't sit up straight. It hurt bad enough curled up. I texted mom to let her know what was going on. The pain went from a 10 to 9 so I scuffled my way to the bathroom as quickly as possible. As soon as I sat on the toilet it was back at a 10. Mom called me and I told her how it hurt. She wanted to start timing. The pain went back to a 9 and I quickly wiped and scuffled back to bed, only to have it go back to a 10. There was no way I could tell when it was coming and going. After a few minutes on the phone with mom, they started subsiding. We hung up and I was able to go back to bed after that. I'm not sure what caused the pain, whether it was a contraction or maybe a charlie horse in my uterus (if that's even possible), but it really really hurt.

So today every time I have a contraction, I get this slight pain. I'm not sure if it's from the intense pain I felt last night or if it's from actual contractions starting. I have a doctor's appointment in the morning so we'll see how things are moving along.

And I've noticed about the past week, especially when I wake up, this feeling "down below." It feels almost as though I rode a bicycle after not riding one for 10 years and it had a REALLY hard seat. I believe this is from the baby dropping even more and my pelvis is starting to separate.

Boy, I sure can't wait until that appointment tomorrow. I hope we can get things moving along!

Oh, and I bought a new camera yesterday so I can take millions and millions of pictures of Benton. :)

Due Date

Well, today's my due date and I sure wish I was holding a baby by now. 15 more hours until the stroke of midnight. Maybe we can get him out by then. Haha! But it has finally occured to me that, literally, at any moment I could have a baby. Holy cow! ANY MOMENT! I highly doubt it'll happen like that, but here's to wishful thinking. We'll just have to wait and see what happens.

Damnit!

I had my 39 week checkup today. 2.5cm and 70% thinned out. So basically no progress. Boooo! I'm a little upset about that. Doc swept my membranes again. 30% chance of labor within 3 days. He thinks I'll go on my own. I don't think I will. He won't induce until 41.5 weeks. So if I'm still pregnant on the 3rd (which is my next appointment) we'll schedule my induction. So the very latest Benton will be here should be February 13 (2 weeks after my due date). I don't want a February baby! I want him NOW!



Grandma and Grandpa got here yesterday. They'll be staying for a week. And grandma flew in last night and I think she's staying for two weeks. Grandpa and I will be walking like crazy to get this baby out.


I've talked to Paul and I can tell he's stressing and anxious and nervous and excited and a million other emotions. He's got someone to cover for him at work. But he doesn't like the fact that we're still waiting for "any minute now" instead of knowing for sure when he'll be here. We were both hoping doc would say "Okay! This weekend!" but obviously it didn't happen.


On a different note, I'm going in an hour to get the car seat properly installed. If it were in the truck I'd have no problem doing it myself. But since it has to go in the car for now, I don't like how it sits because the back seat is two bucket seats. I'll have them crawl back there and make sure it's in okay.


Oh! The castor oil..... NEVER AGAIN. The first time I took 2 tablespoons and got a few rumblies in my tummy. This time I took 1 ounce. I was up all night throwing up and pooping. It was not fun. I will never ever ever do it again. It was horrible for me and I'm sure it was horrible for Benton. I'm sorry to my baby that I put him through that. I feel like I've already lost the "Mommy of the Year" award.


But yeah, installing the car seat today and my next appointment is on the 3rd. Here goes another week of waiting!

Self-Inducing and Dogs

First off, let me say that I was literally truly and honestly scared for the first time ever in my life. I went for a walk to try to increase contractions and got mauled by a dog. It was a rot/pit/whatever looking dog. Well, you could tell it was a puppy but a grown puppy. It jumped on me, so I kicked it. It fell to the sidewalk, got up, and jumped at me again. I pushed it a couple more times. Then it started nipping at my heels, pants, and elbows. I even had paw prints on my chest. I was screaming because it wouldn't get off me but apparently no one heard me. I slowly walked to the house whose yard I was in. I banged on the door like crazy and after a good minute, lady finally answered and the dog barged in as soon as she opened the door. She didn't seem to have a care in the world. I'm definitely mad at the situation. But more off, I was and am still frightened. All that ran through my head was, "Oh, my god. I'm a few days away from meeting my baby and I'm going to get killed by a dog." It was truly and honestly scary.

On to self-inducing....

A few days ago I got castor oil at HEB to attempt to start labor (yes, I've become THAT desperate). I took 2 tablespoons followed by orange juice before bed. The most I got out of that was a few farts, a rumbly tummy, and a little stomach cramping (not belly, stomach). Well, after much persuasion from friends and after researching more recipes online, I took 1 ounce just a little while ago (11:11 pm) followed by some hot tea. So we'll see what happens! I always imagined he'd come on the 27th and tomorrow's the 27th. Maybe? We've got our fingers crossed!

So Grandma Betty and Granma Pat and Grandpa Larry are all scheduled to be in town by the end of the evening tomorrow. Grandma's flying in and Grandma and Grandpa are driving. Paul's got Chief to cover for him at work this weekend. So now all I have to do is either get this baby to come out naturally or beg the doctor to induce me this weekend. I'd hate to have the baby come due to convenience, but considering the circumstances, it would be the best time.

Please

Dear baby,

Please come out now.

Love,

Mommy

Making Progress

So of course today was my 38 week doctor's appointment. I saw Dr. West. He was a pretty nice old man.

He checked me and I am 2.5 centimeters dilated (last week I was 1) and I'm not sure how thinned out I am (last week I was 50%). So we're definitely making progress!

I asked him to sweep my membranes and he did. It didn't hurt at all. It was uncomfortable, of course. It mainly made me feel like I had to pee REALLY bad. After my appointment was over, I had to swing by the bathroom on the way out. I went to the bathroom again when I got home and there was a little blood. Dr. West said to expect that.

So hopefully we'll have a baby soon! Keeping our fingers crossed!

It's Been A While!

Oy! I've been terrible lately at writing on here. Mainly because I haven't had a computer at home since Paul deployed. But I'll try my best to update everything.

Well, first off, I should do some belly pictures.

Christmas Day

34w6d

The same wife beater I've worn in all the other pictures. This was taken after I'd noticed he dropped.

36w3d

36w5d

Things have been going pretty good lately. I've definitely slowed down around the house. I sleep about 10-12 hours a night. My back is definitely hurting more than it was before. Paul seems to think Benton will be here within a week.

Friday, January 14 I had a non-stress test done. Benton normally bounces around like crazy and I never have any problems feeling him. On Thursday I had noticed he slowed down. Way down. I had been online all day so I wasn't moving around to where I couldn't notice his movements. Every once in a while I'd feel his head nudge me or what seemed to be an arm poking at me. But no bouncing. Well, Friday he was doing the same thing. He was moving but only very slight movements. I got scared and called the doctor and they had me come in for the test. And go figure, as soon as they hook me up to the monitors, he starts bouncing around like crazy. I'm very happy he's okay. I think he was just having a lazy couple days. I guess we're all entitled to those.

I've been having more contractions. No pain. But they've defnitely picked up. I timed them the other night after my non-stress test and they were about a minute long and three minutes apart. I don't really notice them during the day but in the evening is when they tend to pick up. Dr. Allerkamp says to go to labor and delivery when they're less than five minutes apart for two or more hours. They only come in the evening so I won't make a trip over there until they're coming for a long time or during the day.

Mom and I went to Zumba the other day. We were interviewed for the newspaper. They asked why we were there and I told them to help get this baby out. It was funny because that's what the lady put in the paper. But Zumba itself was pretty fun. It's like modern-day arobics. I was able to do most of it. About an hour and a half in I had to call it quits, though. My belly turned into one major contracted ball and it just got uncomfortable.

I have another doctor's appointment this week, of course. It's with a different doctor since my doc will be out for surgery. I asked Dr. Allerkamp at my last appointment when he sweeps the membranes (yes, I was begging him to do it already). He said he normally doesn't do it until 38 weeks. Well, guess what! We're at 38 weeks. So I'm going to see if Dr. West will do it for me this week. I will be making it known to Dr. Allerkamp at my 39 week appointment that I do NOT want to have this baby in February. I will request to be induced on or the day before my due date. We'll see what he says.

I had a dream a couple nights ago. Normally when I dream, they're nothing fancy, usually about me. Well, for some reason I dreamed a frog (he was like a neon green tree frog with black camo-ish stripes) was hopping under the bassinett. It was weird. So I did some research online and found it has to do with fertility or good things. And it said something about if the frog was coming from the east then that means birth or fertility. Guess what, he was coming from the east. Now, obviously, I haven't had the baby yet. I was hoping it would mean labor would start within 24 hours but I guess not. Oh, well. At least we know the baby's still coming! Hahaha!

But yeah, that's all I have for now. I think I've got it all updated. Now that I have a computer again I can write as soon as I think of something.

Less than two weeks until Benton is supposed to be here. Yay! Paul and I are EXTREMELY excited!

End Of Pregnancy Blues

Benton has officially dropped and is head-down. Yay! But at the same time I want to cry. My belly seems to have shrunk. It hasn't, but it seems to have. I had a doctor's appointment yesterday (my first time getting checked, woo hoo!) and my belly was 38 cm (1 cm = 1 week pregnant). So I was measuring pretty well on track. I had gained 2 pounds. So I know things are still okay. But my belly just feels so much smaller. I don't like it. I miss my shelf belly. I was able to stand and still put stuff on it. And then a couple days ago it's like it just deflated all of a sudden. :-(

I'm upset that Paul's not going to be here. I hope he can see the birth live. I wish he were here. I really do. I miss him and am so lonely without him.

Those are really the main things bothering me right now. Everything else is going okay. Time just seems to be going by soooooooo slow right now.

I wake up almost every morning at approximately 3. I think that's a severe indication that I'll be doing 3am feedings every day. Usually I can get back to sleep pretty quickly, though.

At my doctor's appointment I had yesterday, I was dilated to 1 cm. I know it doesn't mean much, but it's progress! So every evening I bounce on my exercise ball for about 30 minutes in front of the TV. And this Saturday I'll be going to a Zumba class.

I do not want a February baby. I'll bounce and dance him out if I have to! :-)