Stop Crying!!!!

We went on a fishing trip with a couple friends last night. I had tons of fun. Fished (if you consider casting the line a couple times then handing the pole to my husband cuz I'm bored "fishing"), swam, and most of all I relaxed.

On our way out to the lake, we had to stop to get munchies and drinks. We first stopped at a tiiiiiiny gas station. I had already picked out a Slim Jim and a couple other things. Everybody else wanted to go to a bigger gast station because there wasn't much there they wanted. I asked the female of the other couple that was with us if I could at leasy buy my Slim Jim. She looked at me and jokingly but stern says, "No." I started crying in the middle of the gas station because I wanted a frickin Slim Jim!

Then later on after we'd fished for a while, they finally caught a fish (with my pretty orange fake worm I picked out, might I add). They guy of the other couple pulled out his knife and was going to chop it up and use it as bait. I was screaming at him and telling him no. He was nice and goes out of sight to cut the fish up. I started crying!

Really?! I'm getting tired of these tears. I cry over stupid stuff. Ugh! Just a few more weeks and the second trimester will be here and hopefully I won't be crazy!

Dreams

Lately I've been having weird dreams. Like 3 a night. They're crazy. Every once in a while I'll dream but I wake up to each of these and start talking to my husband telling him to do something.

I dreamed I was driving on WS Young up to Rancier and was going to hang a right at the stop light. I was in the truck. Then all of a sudden the tire blew on the truck. So I woke Paul up telling him to go outside because the tire's flat.

I dreamed I was trying to breastfeed the baby for the first time. Paul didn't believe I was making milk for the baby so I had to squirt him with it.

I dreamed Angel peed in the living room next to the fish tank. And the pee was flowing (yes flowing, it was alot of pee) toward the electrical stuff for the fish tank. I woke Paul up and told him to hurry into the living room because one of the animals just peed and it's running. He cracked the door open and looked and said "I'll get it tomorrow."

I dreamed Angel was throwing up a cat. I was sitting in the living room on the couch and she was in the dining room and I was watching her trying to puke. She puked once and a white cat leg was dangling out of her mouth. She tried puking some more. Then I woke up.

I know there have been some other weird things. But that's what my crazy head has come up with for now.

I'm going to die.

Holy hell do I have a migraine! It's like the past week, every day, I get a headache. But today sucks. Boooo! I have to work tonight but don't want to go. I've layed on the couch all day today. My head hurts if I don't look anywhere but straight ahead in little to no light. Ugh!

Weird occurence earlier...... So I though I had my first real food craving the other day for Whoppers. Nope. Today was it. I was sitting on the couch eating Goldfish. And I wanted peanut butter to dip my Goldfish in. I looked at Paul and started crying because I wanted peanut butter. Being the good husband he is, he went to the cabinet and got me a brand new jar of PB. What a man! ♥

Belly

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...... ☺

I know I'm chubby so I have a fat indent between my belly and "pooch" I guess you could say. I looked in the mirror about half an hour ago. My indent is not-so-dented. It still is a little bit but not as much. Yay! And I know I'm not constipated cuz... well, yeah.... And I know constipation can make you look more pregnant than you actually are. I'm not bloated. I feel the least bloated that I've felt in the past month. Soooo.... I'm hoping it's baby! Okay, well maybe uterus. But still..... Yay!

Just thought I'd share.

Should I be scared?

I don't feel pregnant. I don't feel anything. My boobs don't hurt. I don't feel sick. I don't feel a baby belly. I don't feel anything. Is that normal? It's freaking me out. I think I'm going to call my doctor tomorrow. I don't know. Uuuuuuuuugh!

First Ultrasound

I had my very first ultrasound June 15th. Even though the baby doesn't look much like a baby yet, he/she is still the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

I got my new due date. It is now 1/30/2011. During the ultrasound I was 7 weeks 2 days. Tomorrow I will be exactly 8 weeks. So every Sunday I gain a week. Baby's heartbeat was 145 beats per minute. I love my beautiful baby.

I finally got a call from my neurologist yesterday. My medicine dosage has to go up already. I was taking 100mg of Lamictal in the morning and 100mg at night. Starting tonight, for two weeks, I take 100mg in the morning and 150mg at night. Then thereafter, I take 100mg in the morning and 200mg at night.

I've been starting to get nausea. Yesterday it wasn't extremely bad but I'm not used to it so I didn't fare too well. All day and night I felt like crap. And all I wanted to do was sleep. Today I've been feeling "blah" too. I bought some ginger snap cookies last night, so when I feel icky, I eat a few cookies. It kind of helps. I probably don't eat enough, though.

My appetite has gone down. I don't eat as much as I did. I want to, but can't. One thing I absolutely love to eat is salad. Some baby spinach, with ranch dressing, cheddar cheese, and croutons. Yummy!

I had an emotional breakdown a couple days ago. I had a VERY long day at work and was looking forward to coming home to my husband. He wasn't home (and no he didn't just up and disappear, he texted me and told me where he was going). Boy, oh boy, did I freak out on him. All I did all night was cry and scream at him. I couldn't stop. I woke up to swollen eyes because I cried so hard. I even cried quite a bit that day, too. I've become an emotional roller coaster.

Lately I've been contemplating what I'm going to do before and after the baby is born. I have two states of mind. At one moment I keep thinking I'm going to work as long as I can and when I have the baby, I'm going to stay home with him/her and take online and evening classes. The jobs I can get now will only pay for daycare so it'll be pointless for me to work. On the other hand, I want to take a phlebotomy course this fall so I can get a decent paying job after I take maternity leave. But if I go to school now, it'll take away from my hours at work and it'll cost money for me to drive back and forth and for books and all that other stuff. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. School starts August 30, so I don't have too long to think about it. Ugh! What to do. What to do.

Oh, one more thing. Did I mention my boobs are getting big? Like, huge! I'm already falling out of my bras. Time to go bra shopping.

Week 8

So I figured I'd take a picture of my already-chubby self. Ya know, before I start to get a baby bump. My normal weight is about 210 pounds. So enjoy this nice picture of a tired and exhausted me at midnight, unable to sleep, looking like a hot mess.

Neurology Appointment

I just got home a little while ago from my neurology appointment. I went in for my normal 6 month checkup. But I also had to break the news (about the baby, of course!!!). I have to go get my Lamictal levels checked in the morning to make sure they're where they should be. In another three months (second trimester) I have to go back to get them checked again. We have to make sure they don't drop or else.... yeah. Catastrophe. If they do, I get to take more medicine, of course.

I was sooooo looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow. I guess not. Well, maybe an hour...... :-)

Oh, yeah, by the way....

Holy cow have I been tired!!!!!! If I don't do anything all day and sleep in a little, I don't need a nap. But God forbid, if I wake up before 7 and attempt to do something that may require effort, it's lights out mid-afternoon.

No sickness yet. A little nausea but nothing to complain about. Oregano makes me wanna barf, though. I cook with it quite a bit and I made dinner with oregano the other day and WOW.... I didn't feel too good. Hmmm... what else? *thinks* ...Oh, a couple mornings ago when I was on my way to work, I tried eating a Pop Tart. Nope. Wasn't having it. I wound up throwing my un-eaten half out the window and the other one just sat in the package until I threw it away today.

Nothing else entertaining has happened. Like I said, where's the fireworks? The grand parade? That special feeling? I have none of it. I just feel like me (98% like me, should I say).

First ultrasound on Tuesday the 15th!!!!

What the... ?

I thought when I got pregnant, there'd be like this special feeling. Or fireworks. Or something.

Nothing.

I feel like me. Plain ol' me. Nothing special. Kinda disappointed about that. Haha!