Long story short:
"beautiful~blimp"
It is now my signature on my text messages. Why? First off, let me say that I brought it on myself.
It all started when I kept telling Paul "I'm a blimp" every time I felt fat. So he thought it was okay to call me a blimp. Then I'd get mad because he'd say that. Then he'd go "But baby, you're a beautiful blimp." So every time I feel huge, he calls me a beautiful blimp. It doesn't really get on my nerves anymore like it did before. It's kind of fun to laugh at, actually.
So now I am the Beautiful Blimp.
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