1775 Days

4 years, 10 months, and 8 days. That's how long it took to receive our gift from God. Benton was born February 3, 2011 at 10:24 pm via c-section. He weighed 9 pounds 1.6 ounces and was 21 1/4 inches long. He's the most beautiful, most perfect, most amazing child in the world and I couldn't be any happier.

On Thursday, the 3rd, I had my weekly doctor's visit with Dr. Allerkamp. I was 40 weeks and 4 days. I went in, did our normal checkup routine, and then we started discussing induction. I, of course, was begging him to induce me that day. He didn't want to since he wouldn't be working and didn't want to pass me off on another doctor. Then he decided to double check the size of Benton since he's always measured large. He did an ultrasound and came up with and estimated weight of 9 pounds 15 ounces. He sat in his chair and contemplated pretty hard. He decided to call Metroplex to see if they could fit me in for an induction. After all was said and done, my doctor's appointment ended, and I drove across the street to the hospital. No time to go home and get my stuff. Nothing. Straight there I went. My doctors appointment started at 9, I got to the hospital at 10, and started pitocin at 11.

On my way to the hospital I called my mom and she got all the stuff rounded up and got to the hospital just as I was given pitocin. Dad showed up a little while later because he was still at work. I was already on the phone with Paul and it stayed that way the majority of the day. We couldn't get any kind of video messenger to work so unfortunately he didn't get to see me the whole time.

As the hours drew on, Dr Allerkamp broke my water, and the contractions got stronger and stronger. I swore I wouldn't, but the contractions got so strong that I asked for an epidural. You would swear I was the girl off The Exorcist before they gave it to me. I guess my pain tolerance isn't really as great as I thought. That, and I lost my ego of wanting to be Super Woman and just kept my options open.

After my epidural I was the happiest person alive. I was happy to be having a baby again!

Around 9 pm or so it was time to push. Pushing was actually quite entertaining because the nurse was fun, and my legs kept flopping all over the place because I couldn't feel them. We were laughing pretty good. Mom and the nurse held my legs and Dad had Paul on the phone up by my head. After an hour of pushing, the on-call doctor discussed that a c-section would be a better option. I had made no progess pushing and it looked as though Benton's head was swelling and he was trying to come out face-forward. We'd also had problems with his heart rate lowering. So around 10ish they wheeled me off to the OR and mom scrubbed up to go in with me.

My epidural was increased greatly. Couldn't feel a thing. It was really weird. I honestly wasn't scared at all. I started tearing up a little though, but that was because my little man was about to be here. As soon as they had me prepped, mom came in and sat by my head. She kept making sure I was okay. There was a lot of tugging and pulling and nausea (which the anethesiologist fixed quickly) and suddenly mom says, "They cut the cord!" and I hear him cry. And of course I started crying. Then I started feeling really nauseous again and started to feel pain on my right side. All I barely remember after that was a crazy dream about dying, my name being hollered, me kissing my son twice, and I was back out of it.

I woke up in recovery pretty sore. It wasn't near as bad as I thought it would be though. Around midnight to 1 am they wheeled me to my postpartum room. I was wheeled by my family who was in the lobby waiting room. They were all smiling and happy and saying "Good job!" "He's beautiful!" A short while later, they brought him to my room and he was just so freakin' beautiful. Perfect pink skin. Perfect eyes. Perfect nose. Perfect face. Perfect hands. Perfect toes. Perfect body. PERFECT. PERFECT. PERFECT.

After all the trouble my husband and I went through, from pain-in-the-ass doctors, to surgeries, to fertility treatments, to heartache, to c-sections, we finally got our little miracle.

WE MADE IT THROUGH HELL AND GOT OUR GIFT FROM HEAVEN.

It Hurts!

Last night I had my very first painful contraction. That or I had a spazm in my belly. I'm not sure. But it hurt like hell. Normally I sleep on my right side. I have the entire pregnancy. If I sleep on my left, I get really bad gas and it's painful to roll over. Last night I was sleeping on my left side and woke because I had to go pee. I got halfway over to my right side and this excruciating pain shot throughout my entire abdomen. So I rolled back to my left side as quickly as possible. I then tried rolling onto my belly to get on all fours. It took me a good minute to accomplish that. The pain was still barely tolerable. I somehow made it to the side of the bed, halfway dangled my legs over, and was hunched into a ball. I couldn't sit up straight. It hurt bad enough curled up. I texted mom to let her know what was going on. The pain went from a 10 to 9 so I scuffled my way to the bathroom as quickly as possible. As soon as I sat on the toilet it was back at a 10. Mom called me and I told her how it hurt. She wanted to start timing. The pain went back to a 9 and I quickly wiped and scuffled back to bed, only to have it go back to a 10. There was no way I could tell when it was coming and going. After a few minutes on the phone with mom, they started subsiding. We hung up and I was able to go back to bed after that. I'm not sure what caused the pain, whether it was a contraction or maybe a charlie horse in my uterus (if that's even possible), but it really really hurt.

So today every time I have a contraction, I get this slight pain. I'm not sure if it's from the intense pain I felt last night or if it's from actual contractions starting. I have a doctor's appointment in the morning so we'll see how things are moving along.

And I've noticed about the past week, especially when I wake up, this feeling "down below." It feels almost as though I rode a bicycle after not riding one for 10 years and it had a REALLY hard seat. I believe this is from the baby dropping even more and my pelvis is starting to separate.

Boy, I sure can't wait until that appointment tomorrow. I hope we can get things moving along!

Oh, and I bought a new camera yesterday so I can take millions and millions of pictures of Benton. :)

Due Date

Well, today's my due date and I sure wish I was holding a baby by now. 15 more hours until the stroke of midnight. Maybe we can get him out by then. Haha! But it has finally occured to me that, literally, at any moment I could have a baby. Holy cow! ANY MOMENT! I highly doubt it'll happen like that, but here's to wishful thinking. We'll just have to wait and see what happens.

Damnit!

I had my 39 week checkup today. 2.5cm and 70% thinned out. So basically no progress. Boooo! I'm a little upset about that. Doc swept my membranes again. 30% chance of labor within 3 days. He thinks I'll go on my own. I don't think I will. He won't induce until 41.5 weeks. So if I'm still pregnant on the 3rd (which is my next appointment) we'll schedule my induction. So the very latest Benton will be here should be February 13 (2 weeks after my due date). I don't want a February baby! I want him NOW!



Grandma and Grandpa got here yesterday. They'll be staying for a week. And grandma flew in last night and I think she's staying for two weeks. Grandpa and I will be walking like crazy to get this baby out.


I've talked to Paul and I can tell he's stressing and anxious and nervous and excited and a million other emotions. He's got someone to cover for him at work. But he doesn't like the fact that we're still waiting for "any minute now" instead of knowing for sure when he'll be here. We were both hoping doc would say "Okay! This weekend!" but obviously it didn't happen.


On a different note, I'm going in an hour to get the car seat properly installed. If it were in the truck I'd have no problem doing it myself. But since it has to go in the car for now, I don't like how it sits because the back seat is two bucket seats. I'll have them crawl back there and make sure it's in okay.


Oh! The castor oil..... NEVER AGAIN. The first time I took 2 tablespoons and got a few rumblies in my tummy. This time I took 1 ounce. I was up all night throwing up and pooping. It was not fun. I will never ever ever do it again. It was horrible for me and I'm sure it was horrible for Benton. I'm sorry to my baby that I put him through that. I feel like I've already lost the "Mommy of the Year" award.


But yeah, installing the car seat today and my next appointment is on the 3rd. Here goes another week of waiting!

Self-Inducing and Dogs

First off, let me say that I was literally truly and honestly scared for the first time ever in my life. I went for a walk to try to increase contractions and got mauled by a dog. It was a rot/pit/whatever looking dog. Well, you could tell it was a puppy but a grown puppy. It jumped on me, so I kicked it. It fell to the sidewalk, got up, and jumped at me again. I pushed it a couple more times. Then it started nipping at my heels, pants, and elbows. I even had paw prints on my chest. I was screaming because it wouldn't get off me but apparently no one heard me. I slowly walked to the house whose yard I was in. I banged on the door like crazy and after a good minute, lady finally answered and the dog barged in as soon as she opened the door. She didn't seem to have a care in the world. I'm definitely mad at the situation. But more off, I was and am still frightened. All that ran through my head was, "Oh, my god. I'm a few days away from meeting my baby and I'm going to get killed by a dog." It was truly and honestly scary.

On to self-inducing....

A few days ago I got castor oil at HEB to attempt to start labor (yes, I've become THAT desperate). I took 2 tablespoons followed by orange juice before bed. The most I got out of that was a few farts, a rumbly tummy, and a little stomach cramping (not belly, stomach). Well, after much persuasion from friends and after researching more recipes online, I took 1 ounce just a little while ago (11:11 pm) followed by some hot tea. So we'll see what happens! I always imagined he'd come on the 27th and tomorrow's the 27th. Maybe? We've got our fingers crossed!

So Grandma Betty and Granma Pat and Grandpa Larry are all scheduled to be in town by the end of the evening tomorrow. Grandma's flying in and Grandma and Grandpa are driving. Paul's got Chief to cover for him at work this weekend. So now all I have to do is either get this baby to come out naturally or beg the doctor to induce me this weekend. I'd hate to have the baby come due to convenience, but considering the circumstances, it would be the best time.

Please

Dear baby,

Please come out now.

Love,

Mommy

Making Progress

So of course today was my 38 week doctor's appointment. I saw Dr. West. He was a pretty nice old man.

He checked me and I am 2.5 centimeters dilated (last week I was 1) and I'm not sure how thinned out I am (last week I was 50%). So we're definitely making progress!

I asked him to sweep my membranes and he did. It didn't hurt at all. It was uncomfortable, of course. It mainly made me feel like I had to pee REALLY bad. After my appointment was over, I had to swing by the bathroom on the way out. I went to the bathroom again when I got home and there was a little blood. Dr. West said to expect that.

So hopefully we'll have a baby soon! Keeping our fingers crossed!

It's Been A While!

Oy! I've been terrible lately at writing on here. Mainly because I haven't had a computer at home since Paul deployed. But I'll try my best to update everything.

Well, first off, I should do some belly pictures.

Christmas Day

34w6d

The same wife beater I've worn in all the other pictures. This was taken after I'd noticed he dropped.

36w3d

36w5d

Things have been going pretty good lately. I've definitely slowed down around the house. I sleep about 10-12 hours a night. My back is definitely hurting more than it was before. Paul seems to think Benton will be here within a week.

Friday, January 14 I had a non-stress test done. Benton normally bounces around like crazy and I never have any problems feeling him. On Thursday I had noticed he slowed down. Way down. I had been online all day so I wasn't moving around to where I couldn't notice his movements. Every once in a while I'd feel his head nudge me or what seemed to be an arm poking at me. But no bouncing. Well, Friday he was doing the same thing. He was moving but only very slight movements. I got scared and called the doctor and they had me come in for the test. And go figure, as soon as they hook me up to the monitors, he starts bouncing around like crazy. I'm very happy he's okay. I think he was just having a lazy couple days. I guess we're all entitled to those.

I've been having more contractions. No pain. But they've defnitely picked up. I timed them the other night after my non-stress test and they were about a minute long and three minutes apart. I don't really notice them during the day but in the evening is when they tend to pick up. Dr. Allerkamp says to go to labor and delivery when they're less than five minutes apart for two or more hours. They only come in the evening so I won't make a trip over there until they're coming for a long time or during the day.

Mom and I went to Zumba the other day. We were interviewed for the newspaper. They asked why we were there and I told them to help get this baby out. It was funny because that's what the lady put in the paper. But Zumba itself was pretty fun. It's like modern-day arobics. I was able to do most of it. About an hour and a half in I had to call it quits, though. My belly turned into one major contracted ball and it just got uncomfortable.

I have another doctor's appointment this week, of course. It's with a different doctor since my doc will be out for surgery. I asked Dr. Allerkamp at my last appointment when he sweeps the membranes (yes, I was begging him to do it already). He said he normally doesn't do it until 38 weeks. Well, guess what! We're at 38 weeks. So I'm going to see if Dr. West will do it for me this week. I will be making it known to Dr. Allerkamp at my 39 week appointment that I do NOT want to have this baby in February. I will request to be induced on or the day before my due date. We'll see what he says.

I had a dream a couple nights ago. Normally when I dream, they're nothing fancy, usually about me. Well, for some reason I dreamed a frog (he was like a neon green tree frog with black camo-ish stripes) was hopping under the bassinett. It was weird. So I did some research online and found it has to do with fertility or good things. And it said something about if the frog was coming from the east then that means birth or fertility. Guess what, he was coming from the east. Now, obviously, I haven't had the baby yet. I was hoping it would mean labor would start within 24 hours but I guess not. Oh, well. At least we know the baby's still coming! Hahaha!

But yeah, that's all I have for now. I think I've got it all updated. Now that I have a computer again I can write as soon as I think of something.

Less than two weeks until Benton is supposed to be here. Yay! Paul and I are EXTREMELY excited!

End Of Pregnancy Blues

Benton has officially dropped and is head-down. Yay! But at the same time I want to cry. My belly seems to have shrunk. It hasn't, but it seems to have. I had a doctor's appointment yesterday (my first time getting checked, woo hoo!) and my belly was 38 cm (1 cm = 1 week pregnant). So I was measuring pretty well on track. I had gained 2 pounds. So I know things are still okay. But my belly just feels so much smaller. I don't like it. I miss my shelf belly. I was able to stand and still put stuff on it. And then a couple days ago it's like it just deflated all of a sudden. :-(

I'm upset that Paul's not going to be here. I hope he can see the birth live. I wish he were here. I really do. I miss him and am so lonely without him.

Those are really the main things bothering me right now. Everything else is going okay. Time just seems to be going by soooooooo slow right now.

I wake up almost every morning at approximately 3. I think that's a severe indication that I'll be doing 3am feedings every day. Usually I can get back to sleep pretty quickly, though.

At my doctor's appointment I had yesterday, I was dilated to 1 cm. I know it doesn't mean much, but it's progress! So every evening I bounce on my exercise ball for about 30 minutes in front of the TV. And this Saturday I'll be going to a Zumba class.

I do not want a February baby. I'll bounce and dance him out if I have to! :-)

Pictures

I did a project today. I strung about 6 feet of thick string (somewhat like clothes line) along Benton's wall. I then clothes pinned pictures of Paul to the string. So now there are bunches of pictures of Paul hanging in Benton's room. I just want to make sure he recognizes his Daddy. It's really cute, too.

Things have been going good lately. Benton's been doing cartwheels in my belly on a regular basis before bed. I usually wake up around 3 am for no reason. Rolling over in bed's become a chore. I snuggle with pillows on either side of me all night. I'm ready to pop this kid out. But I don't think it's from being pregnant, because I'm really not that uncomfortable. The waiting is what's killing me. Time seems to have slowed down.

Oh, I also got Benton's baby book the other day. It's kind of like a scrap book. I also got a little plastic box to put his first birthday cards in, and Christmas cards, ultrasound photos, and other stuff. It's tucked away in his closet.

I also finally got a mattress for the crib. Now I have the crib put together and ready to go. The very last thing I need/want is a glider. I'm working on it, though. For some reason I'm hesitant on getting one. Paul doesn't think I'll use it. I do. I'd like to be able to rock him (and myself) to sleep. Especially while breastfeeding.

I have to now squish the car seat in the car instead of the truck. The truck is inoperable right now. So we're compacting things down. It's a pain but there's nothing I can do about it until the truck gets fixed.

Grandma Betty will be arriving on the 27th. Grandma and Grandpa Aspedon will also be coming around that time, too. It'll be nice having some help. I just have to get the office cleaned out and the bed made.

I also got an exercise ball the other day. They're not as expensive as I thought they'd be. It was only $10 at Target. I've sat on it a couple times. I really haven't been home so I haven't been able to use it much. It's pretty comfy, though. I did a little bouncing on it last night.

Well, 30 days are left of this pregnancy. I can't wait. I'm so excited. It's all I can talk about and I'm sure people are getting annoyed. Sometimes I annoy myself. But I'm proud to be a soon-to-be mommy. I'm definitely looking forward to all the joys and struggles of parenthood.

Oh, also....

I know it's been a while, but here's a new belly picture. It was taken a week ago, at 33 weeks 5 days.



When the time comes....

Paul and I had a discussion yesterday about what will happen leading up to and during Benton's birth. As we all know, he is currently deployed and will be unable to return home for the birth.

First off, what if Benton doesn't decide to turn his little butt around and is breech? At my appointment the other day, I asked the doctor about them manually turning him. He explained how they will give me a medication to make my uterus soft. I will be hooked up to machines to monitor how well the baby is tolerating the turning. The worse that could happen, either way, is I will need a c-section. Originally, we didn't want to turn him. If he was going to be breech we were just going to leave him that way. But then we got to talking and thinking about it. Since Paul won't be here, it will be a million times harder for me to care for a newborn alone when I'm unable to move around. I've had surgery before (to remove the teratoma, remember?) and I was out of it for a few days. And if mom and dad are helping me, they'll have even more of a chore that I don't want to burden them with. So we decided, if we need to, we will try to turn Benton to avoid having a c-section. So hopefully the little turd turns!

We also discussed what would happen regarding notifying Paul about labor and delivery. The decision? First off, let me say that I have no way of contacting Paul. I have to wait for him to message me on Yahoo messenger or call me. So...... If I am in labor and Paul happens to call/IM me, cool. We'll let him know what's going on so he can stay on the phone with me or webcam (his commander already okayed it for him to take the time to "be with me" and so did my doctor.) If he doesn't get a hold of me during labor, there will be no attempt made to contact him (i.e. calling Red Cross to send a message). We both know how he will stress out about what's going on, freak out on the doctors, and potentially distract him from a mission he's in the middle of. But no one will know about the birth until he does, even if it takes a week for us to talk to each other.

Yes, that's right. I could be potentially torturing myself, but no one (not even family, friends, or the world of Facebook) will know of the birth and see the baby until Paul does.

So basically, all it boils down do is Paul will contact me. I will make no effort to contact him. That's what we both decided on and think is best. My dad's already got the video camera charging to we can film it.

Mobile

Benton's mobile arrived by FedEx yesterday and I put it up in his room. I put it above his changing table since he won't be sleeping in his crib for a while. It's really cute. The pig on it keeps making me mad, though because he keeps bumping the arm and stopping it from spinning. Oh, well. I like it alot.

Mom came up with a good idea of stringing some string on the wall and getting some clothes pins and kind of doing a decorative yet changeable picture holder with tons of pictures of Paul. So that may just be my next project.

I finally had my last boring doctor's appointment today. In two weeks I go back and get to start getting my cervix checked. Yay! I can't wait to have an appointment that doesn't feel pointless for once.

I thought I was having contractions the other day. Very very mild ones, though. I just waited them out and they went away. It kind of felt like this achiness in my back that would then go to my abdomen and my belly would get hard when my abdomen started hurting. It wasn't anything major. Heck, I can't even walk around the house now without having Braxton Hicks contractions. I literally feel like I'm carry a rock solid bowling ball everywhere.

Don't get me wrong, though. I'm still loving being pregnant. I wouldn't change it for the world.

6 more weeks left!

Daddy's Gone

Well, little man, it's just me and you for now. Daddy left today. I can honestly say that today was the longest and possibly hardest day of my life. I cried quite a bit throughout the day, before he left. Around 4ish, he and I spent a little time together and got to talk for a few minutes. We kissed. I'll never forget it. Then they walked out to the shuttle busses with their carry-on bags and guns. I stood outside and watched them load up. I cried a tear here and there. And then the busses pulled off. And I lost it.

I can't wait for him to come home to hold and see you. You'll be a few months old the first time you meet. But always remember that he's loved you since before you were born.

So I'm going to do my best to keep you two in touch. With videos and pictures and everything in between. But for now, it's just you and me.

One year left until Daddy's home!

Nesting

Holy freaking cow! I can't stop doing stuff! And it's not towards the front of the house (dining room, living room, kitchen) like normal. The baby's room is spotless. The guest bedroom/office is spotless, new bedding put on, furniture rearranged, window treatment put up, closet organized. Our bedroom has new blinds and a valance. New bedding. Completely rearranged. I even wiped down the walls and some of the baseboards on both bedrooms. Holy hell, what is wrong with me?!?!?!

Tomorrow I'm going to tackle finishing up our bedroom and then the bathroom and then the kitchen.

CLEAN! CLEAN! CLEAN!

Labor Predictions

So I'm absolutely bored, it's almost 2:30 am and I can't sleep. I've ran out of things to look at on the internet. So I thought I'd write. The topic? You guessed it! What I predict my labor will be like.

Well, first off, considering that Paul deploys this weekend, I know I will be stressed, depressed, upset, overwhelmed, and a million other emotions in one. With that being said, I think I will go into labor early. Not too early. Just a few days, say 3 or 4. January 27th. Which that won't be too bad. BUT! I think Benton will be breech (as he is now, with his big head in my right ribcage). Therefore, I forsee myself having a c-section or complicated delivery.

How do I know? I don't. I just have a gut feeling. I hope everything goes picture-perfect. But we all know reality can suck (sorry to be such a Debbie Downer) so I'm just changing my expectations a little.

And that birth plan? I'm not having one. I still want au naturel. 100%. But again, I'm going to brace myself for anything that can happen. I just have to be more aware and less passive about things that are going on around me. And let mom and dad know, too, so they can make decisions if I can't.

Now that we've got that out the way, I need to mention one more thing. I can't stop drooling at night. And I get tired more like in my first trimester. And I still click the computer buttons when I bend forward. And my chin hair won't stop growing!

*GASP!* I so totally forgot to write about my ultrasound on the 7th. It went pretty good. Got one picture out of the deal. I only got to see the screen for a brief minute. Paul got to see the whole thing. Benton's still measuring large. How large? I'm not sure. The doctor was kind of in a crabby mood. Oh, and he was moved to his new office right next to the hospital. It was perdy!!!!

Nursery

Benton's room is about 90% done and I love it!

The storage unit in the closet and wall shelf were given to us by my parents. They look awesome in the room and give it that extra "touch". Thank you mom and dad! We love it!

We went shopping!

Yesterday Paul and I finally went baby shopping on our own. It was fun yet very exhausting. We got some great deals.

We first stopped at one baby consignment store in town. They didn't have anything we liked. So we went to the other consignment shop, Storkdaddy's. Paul picked out a few rattler and teething toys. I also got him 3 or 4 sleep sacks. He's got pajamas sized 3 months and up. Poor little guy had nothing to sleep in for now! He also got a camo bodysuit. We spent about $30 there.

Then we went to one of the Goodwill stores here in town. We picked up 2 bookends for his shelf, an activity mat, wipes warmer, about 5 books, and a few other things for another $30.

And last came Target. Eeek! We got quite a bit, though. Curtains. Sheets. Bottles. Receiving blankets. Lamp. Totes. A couple "daddy" outfits. Matress pad. And some other stuff for about $130.

All in all, I say we did pretty darn good yesterday. Paul still has to put up my shelf so I can get things set on it and organized. I'll be using the original farm bumper I purchased at the Goodwill a while back. I got a yellow curtain to match the fence. I might get a red bedskirt to match the barn.

Oh, and before he and I went shopping together, I got the rest of the stuff for my hospital bag at HEB yesterday. I am completely packed and ready to go except for bras, cell phone, laptop, and change for the vending machines.

So, I've got pretty much everything I need. I eliminated 90% of the stuff on my registry to help me keep track of what is left to buy. Basically the main thing to get is the crib matress. I kind of want a glider but I don't know yet. I'll keep my eye out on Craigslist for that.

The nursery is almost done! Yay!

Baby Shower

This past Saturday, December 4th, was my baby shower. It was at grandma's house. I can honestly say, I had a blast. There were 15 of us and it was great to have lots of laughter and fun. Paul and I were very blessed with gracious gifts from family and friends. Thank you!

The games were lots of fun. In the first game, everyone had to guess how many Mike and Ikes were in a small baby bottle. 99 in all. I think the closest guess was 92. The next game was the TP game. Everyone had to guess how many TP squares around I was. Paul's grandma won. She was about 1/4 sheet over. Others were a whole roll over and some didn't even go halfway around my belly. It was hilarious! And the last game was 3 people had to drink apple juice from a baby bottle (9 oz). Paul, Charlsie, and Carol K. were the drinkers. It was very hard for them to do and I don't think anyone finished their juice without cheating. But Paul won because he could chug the juice the fastest (of course they took the nipples off).

Grandma got 30 cupcakes and a mini cake. Quite a few of the cupcakes were eaten. We got to take a few home. Paul and Charlsie hung balloons and a sign at the end of the driveway. And Aunt Cathy helped hang balloons downstairs.

From start to finish, the shower was awesome. Again, thank you to eveyone who helped and everyone who came. I loved it.

Swelling and Travel Systems

I forgot to update about the Braxton Hicks contractions. Well, I waited them out that night and they eventually went away after a couple hours. The next night they came at the same pace for a couple hours and then went away. Then nothing after that. So no hospital visit. Just an overly-worried me, as always.

On to the next topic: Swelling. Over the past couple days my ankles have been swelling. Nothing major but enough to get on my nerves. I've been drinking only water to try to help it. And when I sit my feet are up. So hopefully it will subside. Or at least not get any worse.

Yesterday and the evening before, Aunt Cathy took Paul and I shopping for a car seat and stroller set. You would have thought we were buying a house!!! I can honestly say, Paul really and truly cares about what our baby will be sitting in and how it will be used. The first evening we looked, we went to Target, Toys R Us, and Walmart. We couldn't settle on anything we liked. It either didn't have enough cup holders, or the seat didn't sit in it right, or it was hard to fold up. So the next day we went to Babies R Us. We looked at travel system after travel system. We finally found two systems (the same kind only with a couple differences) that we really liked. One was black and green and one was brown with safari animals. I really loved the black and green one but Cathy brought up a really good point: when the baby spits up or the car seat brushes against a dirty vehicle, the mess will be really visible. And also, since we live in Texas, the black will retain the heat the most. So after much deliberation, and test driving it through the store, we decided to get the safari print one. It's very cute, has a micro-fiber feeling to it, nice stitching and is really easy for me to fold/unfold and carry. And I (Paul, too) just want to say Thank you sooooo much! We are very, very grateful for this gift.

 

My swollen ankles.

Somewhere in the 31 week mark.

 

Braxton Hicks Contractions

Last night I was having Braxton Hicks contractions. They seemed to be coming about every 2 1/2 minutes around 30 seconds each. I kept feeling them at Paul's aunt's house and didn't think anything of it. Then we were driving back to my grandparent's house and I was keeping track. I kept track at the house, also. They've gone away from what I can tell. They weren't painful. But they were happening more frequently than they should have. I've been drinking only water and orange juice the past few days so it's not like I haven't been keeping hydrated. And I haven't been doing anything strenuous. I'm going to keep an eye on it today and see what happens. If they're happening frequently again today, I may go to the hospital in Nebraska City just to get checked up on.

Until then, I'm going to sit here and enjoy my little chunker doing rolly-pollies in my tummy. His head has finally made its way to my ribs. His frequent kicks have slowed to less but bigger blows. He's run out of room so every time he moves, it looks like I have an alien trying to come out through my belly button. But I love it. I may get uncomfortable at times because of his big head, but I love it.

What's Happening?

So one of the main reasons I switched from a Walmart registry to a Target registry was because Target has farm-themed stuff like crazy. The bedding they have is called How Now Brown Cow by Fisher Price. And I'm starting to worry that they're going to discontinue it. Because I'm crazy, I edit my registry every day (Don't ask. It's a long story.) One day a How Now Brown Cow bedding items is available. The next it is out of stock. Then another item is out of stock for a couple days. Then they're both available again. Well, right now all of the bedding items are out of stock. From valance, to sheets, to dust ruffle, to mobile. I think I'm seriously about to get my heart broken. And of course you can't just buy it off Fisher Price's website. That would be too easy.

I'm absolutely in love with the bedding and this is absolutely driving me nuts. I guess I'll have to wait and see. *sigh*

Aaaah!

I feel so overwhelmed right now. Part of it is baby, part of it is getting ready to go to Iowa for vacation. I think it's understandable what is sressful about vacation. But the baby? Ugh!

First off, time is just dragging by waiting for him to get here. I have been part of a forum since week 8 that is for women pregnant and due in January 2011. I get so anxious seeing most of them talking about the baby dropping and how they have only a few weeks left. It's making me so anxious reading all their posts!

Second, there's still so much stuff I need to get for the baby but I can't get it right now. And I want sooooo bad to start finishing his room. I want to organize, organize, organize. And decorate. And get everything ready. But we have to pay for our vacation first. It's killing me knowing there's so much I still need to do but I can't do it!

Time is going by too slow. I know, when he's born, I'll probably be like, "Oh my! That was a quick pregnancy!" But right now, all I want to do is hold him. A part of me wishes he would arrive a couple weeks early but at the same time I don't because it's best if he "cooks" as long as possible. I jokingly told Paul earlier, "That would be cool if he was born while we were in Iowa!" But then, back to what I just said, he's not done "cooking" yet and plus Mom and Dad wouldn't be there. Other than that, it's a fun thought!

10 1/2 weeks left!

Glucose Results

I passed my glucose test. Woo hoo!

Holy Diaper Heaven!!

Birthing classes are finally over. Dad went with me to class 1, Mom to class 2, and Paul to class 3 (which was tonight). I enjoyed all 3 classes. They were pretty fun! And we also got to tour labor and delivery since we won't make it to the fourth class. Metroplex is pretty nice.

Speaking of Metroplex. THANK YOU! They had too many free Huggies diaper gift packs to give away so we got 18 gift boxes tonight. Metroplex just supplied us with 180 newborn diapers, 288 wipes, and 18 disposable changing pads. In the picture below, everything on the right (top and bottom) is from those gift packs. The entire top row is just the Huggies newborn diapers I have. The bottom row is all the wipes we have and the changing pads.

Since I was counting diapers and wipes, I figured I'd count up what we had total. Here are the numbers:

Newborn: 314

1: 315

2: 208

3: 160

4: 108

Wipes: 1349

That's 1105 diapers!!! Woo hoo!

And with Benton using around 10 diapers a day when he's born, hopefully those will last us a solid month. Oh, joy! I don't have to worry about diapers so soon! Yay!

But yeah, that was my good news for the day. Now bask in all my Huggies and wipes gloriness!!!!! LOL

And P.S. He better be a Huggies baby! :-)

The Beautiful Blimp

Long story short:

"beautiful~blimp"

It is now my signature on my text messages. Why? First off, let me say that I brought it on myself.


It all started when I kept telling Paul "I'm a blimp" every time I felt fat. So he thought it was okay to call me a blimp. Then I'd get mad because he'd say that. Then he'd go "But baby, you're a beautiful blimp." So every time I feel huge, he calls me a beautiful blimp. It doesn't really get on my nerves anymore like it did before. It's kind of fun to laugh at, actually.






So now I am the Beautiful Blimp.



Baby Shower

Yay! I'm so excited! My family back home will be throwing me a baby shower! Woo hoo! They made invitations today. I asked grandma to save me one so I could put it in Benton's baby book. Eeeeek! I'm ecstatic! I hope we get a good turnout, mainly because I just absolutely love being around family - Paul's and mine. There's nothing like being with people you love. Seriously.

Now that I'm done being mushy.....

It's on December 4th at 2:30 pm at Grandma and Grandpa's house. We leave to head back here to Texas the next day. It'll be cool getting to see everyone one last time before we leave and while we're still "child-less".

Jeeze, I feel weird thinking about that. I'm gonna have a baby next time I go back home. Me. My kid.

If you haven't figured it out, I don't think it's quite sunk in that I will be a mother. Holy hell, that makes me want to cry. I'm gonna be a mommy! I'm gonna have a baby!

*deep breath*

Okay.

Back to my point. Baby shower. I'm so excited and can't wait. I feel truly blessed and VERY thankful that my family offered to do this for me. I don't know if I can say thank you enough times.

Thank you! I love you all!

Hospitals (part 2)

I talked to mom last night about the dilemma Paul and I are having regarding the hospitals. She brought up some good points.

1) I've had 2 ultrasounds and neither of those doctors or my regular doctor think there is any cause for concern or any cause for me to be high risk.

2) If they thought the medicine is causing problems, they would have taken me off of it by now.

3) I'm being a worry wart.

I agree with her on everything. She helped me understand that things will be okay. And if I still feel the same when I go into labor, there's no hurt in driving to Temple. So at least for now, the plan is still to go to Metroplex.

I've always wanted maternity pictures taken. I have pictures but they're all of me standing in front of the mirror taking the picture myself with my phone. And I'd really like pictures with Paul before he gets deployed. I asked mom last night if she'd take pictures for us and she said yes. I'm so excited! She has a really good camera that takes awesome pictures. Then I can just take the ones we like and have them printed off somewhere. I can't wait!

Glucose and Hospitals

I nearly died today! Okay, maybe not, but still. I had to take my glucose test today (should have results in a week). I couldn't eat after 1. Then I had to drink that nasty drink at 3. It tasted like a melted pop-ice. Yuck!!!! I hope the results come back okay.

On a completely different and more serious note...

I'm on the fence about which hospital to go to. Scott and White or Metroplex? Originally the decision was dead-set for Metroplex. It's only a 20 minute drive across town. Scott and White is a good 45 minutes away in Temple. The distance played a big factor in where I was going. But, now that I think about it, I don't think Metroplex has a NICU. Granted, I still need to ask and do my research, but I want to have a NICU when Benton is born. Why? First off, we opted out of all the down syndrome screenings and other tests. So we have no clue if he'll have any of that. Second, what if he has some condition caused by my medicine? What if we couldn't tell it on the ultrasound but when he's born, he needs some kind of help? I'd rather be where there is excellent care rather than having to transport him. I know deep down in my heart that nothing will be wrong, but at the same time, I want to be prepared.

I hate to stress myself out over this but this is something I really need to think about. Should I even worry? My baby's health is more important than an uncomfortable ride to the hospital.

Target Registry

I did it again. But this time I really like my decision.

I changed the entire registry from Walmart to Target. With the Walmart registry, I was able to pick out items that were okay to my liking. Well, I was hearing about getting discounts on items off your Target registry after baby was born, so I figured I'd make two identical registries. I got to looking on Target's website and they have barnyard themed stuff like CRAZY!!!!!!!! So, of course, I had to change everything over. I love all my selections I made. And everything is priced very well. So, officially, it is a Target registry now. I deleted the Walmart one entirely.

https://www.target.com/registry/baby/NJMK4LUAKMY3

Third Trimester

Today officially marks the beginning of the third trimester. 7 months. 28 weeks. Approximately 84 days to go. Woooooo hoooo! I get more and more excited every day thinking about Benton - seeing him for the first time, bringing him home, snuggling and bonding with him. I can't wait!

Speaking of bonding: Last night Paul and I were laying on the couch watching a movie. Benton started moving around pretty good so I put Paul's hand on my belly to feel it. Benton kept moving but not as crazy as he just was. So, of course, Paul starts poking at my belly really hard to get a reaction out of him. All of a sudden Benton gave 4 or 5 HUGE thumps against Paul's hand. It was so hilarious. Paul pissed him off.

I'm starting to notice a growth pattern in me and the baby. First of all, in the morning I look small because Benton seems to be laying somewhat flat inside me. By the end of the day he drops all the way down to my pubic bone (which is VERY uncomfortable by the way) and I look and feel like a whale. Another thing I've noticed is my hips. Every few weeks my hips hurt so bad that I can't do anything to alleviate the pain but wait it out. They ache so bad. Then to my wonder, my belly gets larger a day or two afterwards. My hips were KILLING me all day yesterday. Now I'm waiting to add more shirts to my collection of "unwearables."

Paul and I are going to go buy me a huge container of Tums today. I had about one and a hlaf mini travel-sized rolls that lasted me all the way up until last night. But the past few nights, when I lay down to sleep, I get severe heartburn and have to sleep inclined so I can tolerate it.

My drooling at night has increased. I think I mentioned it, but I'll mention it again. I drool. A lot. I'm surprised I haven't drowned on my own pillow yet. Haha!

And with my extra saliva, oddly, comes and extremely dry mouth and throat in the morning. I sound like I have a cold and feel like I smoked a whole pack of cigarettes when I wake up each morning. After an hour and eating or drinking something it goes away. But it's still sucky.

I've loved every part of my pregnancy so far and don't expect that to change. I haven't had a single moment where I've thought, "AAAH! Can this be over yet?!" I'm enjoying every second of it. I have been truly blessed with the miracle of life and I will embrace each and every moment, just as I have.

Registry

I have declared myself officially done creating the baby registry. It was made at Walmart (http://www.walmart.com/giftregistry/gr_detail.do?registryId=86181440199). After much debate about decor and safety and prices and yadda yadda yadda, I have finally made up my mind.

The over-all decor theme is still Western. The main color is brown. Anything metallic is steel/chrome/silver/etc. I'm not going to use the bumper I picked. I will be using a brown breathable bumper with either brown or white sheets and I will have to find a brown bed skirt somewhere else (Walmart doesn't have them in brown). The mobile will be horses. The blankets will be a wide array of blankets, from homemade to store-bought. The curtain will be two brown shower curtains (for some reason I like shower curtains better than real curtains) with silver curtain hooks on a pre-existing black curtain rod. I picked out a green changing pad cover, however, just because I can. And of course, Benton's name is in brown and white on the wall and his initials are in brown on the door.

Other items on the registry are either general "boy colors" or Winnie the Pooh. It's a weird mish-mash but I like it.

Now that I've finished explaining our registry, I have more good news.

I started packing my hospital bag today and I got Benton's coming home outfit.



His outfit is the exact same except it's just the top, pants, and hat. They only had the 3-piece set in the store at Target. Either way, he'll just wear whatever onesie the hospital puts him in. I'll put this outfit over his onesie, tuck him in the car seat, and cover him in his cow-print blanket. OOOOOOH! I'M SO EXCITED!

Belly

27w3d

Bumper

I've been looking at baby things lately to see what else I need for the nursery. I'm still looking at bedding options simply just because I can. I absolutely love my crib bumper that I found at the Goodwill a few weeks ago. BUT...... with a bumper the risk of SIDS increases. The baby can roll over and suffocate if he puts his face up to it. But the bumper helps to keep the baby from getting stuck in the crib slats. They have these somewhat unattractive yet practical bumpers now - breathable bumpers. It's made of this mesh material that also collapses so the baby can't use it to climb out of the crib. So as much as I love my bumper, I'm going to get a breathable bumper. Gotta keep my little guy safe! Maybe it'll look okay if I squish my current bumper in between the matress and bed rail. Or maybe I can hang it somehwere else in the room. Hmmm.....

First Class

Last night was the first birthing class. Dad went with me. It was pretty fun. The teacher (which unfortunately was only teaching last night's class and not the rest), Michelle, was a blast. We had quite a few laughs. We went over how big the baby might be, how long labor can last, what kind of paperwork we'll be filling out, what to bring to the hospital, how our birth partner will help, and some other stuff. I even got a back rub from Dad. Hahaha! The class was supposed to be from 7-9 and it kind of went over until 9:41. Oh well. I got to learn alot and look forward to the next class.

It's Disappearing

I discovered something last night before I went to bed: My belly button is starting to disappear. It looks half the size of what it did before. It's neat because it helps me realize that I'm not fat, I'M PREGNANT!

I'd take a picture of it but you can't tell the difference. It still looks like a belly button in pictures. That, and my belly needs shaved. Can we say "HAIRY"?

Birthing Classes

I finally got my birthing class scheduled. It's the next four Mondays (November 1, 8, 15, & 22) from 7-9. I don't know who's going with me. Either Paul or Dad. Whoever isn't busy, I guess.

27 Weeks

Today marks the beginning of 27 weeks. The last week of trimester number two. Woo hoo!

I finally was able to buy myself a couple pairs of jeans. The one pair of maternity pants I bought was capris. It's starting to get colder outside and we'll be going to Iowa in a few weeks so I thought it was time to buy some jeans to cover my ankles. My old jeans are too tight anymore to wear. My last pair of jeans that could were buttonable are no longer able to button. I have to wear a hair tie around the button.

I also bought two baby blankets today. Very soft. A brown one and a green one. Time's running out and I'm slowly getting more stuff for Benton. It's all so overwhelming on what to get. I really need to start saving money to get the big stuff (stroller, car seat, etc) instead of buying all this little stuff. Ugh! Stress.

And last but not least, one more pregnancy symptom that I've noticed. I drool. I drooled before but not like I do now. I wake up and my pillow is soaked. Definitely going to have to buy pillow protectors.

Braxton Hicks

Today I have done absolutely nothing but contract. I've officially begun to notice Braxton Hicks contractions. They don't hurt at all. But all day I've been feeling my belly tighten up and I get somewhat uncomfortable. They come at what seems to be a regular pace (the exact pace I don't know because I'm not keeping track) and far apart. I'm not worried at all but it is definitely something new to me.

Diaper Party

Today we had our diaper party. It was really quite fun! I enjoyed getting to spend time with the people closest to me. It was Paul and I, Joe and Rebecca, Mom and Dad, the Grewicks, and the Jenns. Later on Bernice, her daughter, and Keyshia showed up to visit. We got tons of diapers and baby wipes. It'll definitely put us off to a good start. The cake was extremely yummy. Paul and I fought over the icing, a) because it was good, and b) because it turns your mouth blue.

The Grewicks won the raffle. The prize was a coupon book with coupons for a lawn mowing, car wash, redbox rental, and a couple other things.

Joe won the poker tournament. He won bragging rights.

It was a very fun day. Even though people didn't show up when they said they would, we still made the most of it.

Secret Project

I took the horse shoe shaped cake pan back to Hobby Lobby today. It was awesome but at the same time, since I'm so stressed about having people over Sunday, I don't want to make a cake on top of everything else I need to do. So I will be buying a cake from HEB.

Which brings me to my next point: I completed a secret project today. While I was at Hobby Lobby, I couldn't resist looking around. I've always wanted to put my baby's name on his or her wall. So I found some stencils and paint and kept myself occupied for a good couple hours today. It'll be right above his crib. It's brown on bottom faded to white on top. I'm contemplating whether or not to outline it in black. The edges are kind of rough looking but then again, it's got the rustic feel to it. So I don't know. But it was nice to have a little fun project to do for once. And it checked one more thing off my baby to-do list.

And in my process of being miserable yesterday, I deleted the baby guessing game. It was just one more thing for me to keep track of.

And, as always, another belly picture. I got bored laying in bed last night so I took some pictures.

25w3d

Blowing Off Steam

I need to vent. Bad.

So I decided we should have a diaper party. Me. No one else. I was going to throw one for just Paul and the guys but figured it would be more fun if me and my -2 friends could come, too. So we're having a party this weekend. Do we have the money? I don't know. Has anyone RSVPed? No. Am I pissed? Yes. Am I offended? Yes. Will anyone actually show up besides my parents? I don't know. Will I have enough food if people do decide to come? I don't know. Will I be spending more money on throwing this thing than what I'll get out of it? More than likely. Am I thrilled about having to make my own cake and food? No. Is my house going to take forever to clean? Yes.

And Paul finally got his orders yesterday for deployment. Even though my parents will be with me when Benton is born, I am still scared shitless to have him gone. I want him here. I can't stop crying every day when I think about it. Literally, every day I cry now. I don't want him to go. We tried so hard and so freaking long for this day to get here. And when it does, he's going to be gone. I feel this big empty hole in my heart and in the pit of my stomach. There's always the possibility of webcam or video taping. But it's not the same. I want him here to catch the baby. To cry with me. To laugh with me. To love with me. But he's not. And I'm fucking pissed and scared and a million other emotions at once. And again, I'm crying.

I'm scared to death to bring Benton home. I'm going to be alone. My husband won't be here to stop my crying. And I know for a fact that that's all I'll do. I have to go a whole year of raising a child by myself - when I'm married! I don't want to. I don't want my husband to miss all of his firsts and some of his lasts. He will never be this little again and Paul won't be here to experience it.

I want to rip my hair out right now. I'm crying. I need a hug but can't get one. I want to crawl into bed and let the world go on without me for a little while. I'm stressed to the max. This sucks.