I'm stressed.

I'm stressed. I think it's a combination of things but still, I'm stressed. Mainly about this week coming up. I have an ultrasound on Monday then from there the doctor decides when we do our procedure. I think I'm finally starting to grasp the concept of what's going on. It's hitting me full force and right now I'm not liking it.

Paul and I have quit smoking. Well, for the most part. We just suddenly decided to stop. We waste so much money on cigarettes and we could be using that money for other stuff. But we have a bad habit of smoking when we go to the bar. I don't know if it's the atmosphere of everyone else smoking or maybe just habit - drink, smoke, drink, smoke. That's the next step. We've at least gotten past the first hurdle of stopping smoking in our everyday lives. That will definitely help with our trying to have a baby. We'll be so much healthier. Hopefully it'll help make it be easier to conceive.

I took the Clomiphene during cycle days 3-7. I just took it with my normal medications. I also started taking prenatal pills. Gotta get some vitamins in me. Can guys take prenatal pills? Probably some other multivitamin. Hold on... I'll Google it... Well, from what I found out the majority of articles say yes, but it'll make him constipated. Hmm... I just found out something new today!

Anywho... where was I? Oh yeah! I did the pills. No side effects. I don't think there are really any associated with it anyways. I also had the Menopur shot on day 9. Paul and I were kind of excited to do it at home but when the time came, we freaked. We didn't want to do anything wrong so I called the doctor's office and they had me go in. I watched some YouTube videos of people administering their own shots and they did it in the fatty part of the lower abdomen and I didn't feel comfortable sticking a needle so close to my organs. The nurse that gave me my shot said that you can basically pick any fatty part on your body and do it - such as your abdomen as stated, inner thigh, outer thigh, back of the arm. She gave me mine in the back of the arm. The nurse asked if I wanted it in the abdomen since I mentioned it and I gracefully declined. :-)

As for the Gonadotropin, the doctor will tell me when it needs to be administered when I go to my ultrasound appointment on Monday.

So yeah, I'm super stressed right now. I broke down on the phone when I was talking to Paul earlier. I cried. It felt good to cry, though. Then I made myself mad because I rubbed my eye and rubbed my contact out. But that's a different story all in itself.

Hopefully tomorrow will be better. I doubt it. I think as each day gets nearer, the more of a basket case I will be. We'll see....