Chlomiphene

I have to take Chlomiphene on cycle days 5-7 again. I started yesterday. The doctor upped my dosage. 200mg daily. It's not too bad. I take 4 pills and they're tiny. I'm just not looking forward to having to take that shot again, that is if we need to. And if I do, I promise I'll get the name for it. :-)

But yeah, nothing too exciting has happened lately. I'm starting to go through the stage of going to the club a lot. I want to go out and have fun before I become a mommy. I may have several more years of fun, I may only have another 25 days. Who knows? But for now, I just want to live it up.

Speechless

I got my period today. It hasn't come in heavy yet but it's started.

I don't even know what to feel. Or how to feel. I just feel empty.

I'll wait until tomorrow to call the doctor.



Here we go again...

Ovulation

I went to get labs done on 4/15 to determine whether or not I ovulated. I called the doctor on 4/16. I did. YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! One step closer!

The doctor said I'm supposed to get my period on the 22nd. If I get it, I'm supposed to call. If I don't, I need to take a pregnancy test. What do I think's going to happen? I think my period's going to be late due to stressing about it. I'll think I'm pregnant, take a test, and it will be negative. Then I'll be even more depressed than I would be in the first place. I don't feel pregnant. I don't think I'm pregnant. I'm tired of trying to think that.

Just a little poem I found...

God answers so many of my little prayers,
so why not the big ones too?
I just can't understand it
Why does He do the things he decides to do?
My deepest desire lies unfullfilled
I feel so hopeless inside
I know I should be thankful
and not so full of pride.
I ask God every day
for this or that, you know, little things.
And when He answers so clearly
my heart just really sings.
But in those deep, pondering moments
When I ask for the desire of my heart,
I get no clear answer
and then my tears start,
Oh God, I want a baby
to hold and kiss and love
I know that You alone can give me
that blessing from above.
I keep waiting, waiting, waiting
and my patience grows to despair.
Oh why can't I have a baby?
For nothing else I truely care.
I know You haven't forgotten me
for better things to do
because You answer all my little prayers,
I just wish You'd fulfill my big one, too.






By Stephanie Marottek


9/25/01

OOOOUUUUUUUCH!

Did I mention my boobs hurt? I mean, they freakin' HURT!

They started hurting a day or two after I gave myself that shot. Holy crap, those are some kick-ass hormones.

Hopefully the shot did its job though.

But yeah, my boobs are killing me.

FYI.

Getting Excited

So I didn't put the name of the shot I had to give myself on my last blog and guess what.... I threw away the box so I have no clue what it was. I'll have to find out at my next doctor's appointment.

But yeah, I gave myself a shot for the very first time. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Hell, it wasn't bad at all. Didn't hurt. Nothing. Just stick and go. It was easier to do this time than last. Last time I had vials to mix and had no clue how to do it so I went to the doctor. This time the medicine was already in the syringe so all I had to do was unwrap and go. I think I'm capable of giving myself shots in the belly fat from now on. ☺

Tomorrow we're supposed to "make love" as the doctor instructs. I'm actually getting excited. I think it may work this time. On the 15th (I think), I have to go to the lab to have tests done to see if I've ovulated. Hopefully I will have by then. I think that if I ovulate, which seems to be the problem period, we'll have no problem getting pregnant. Gotta lay the eggs before they hatch!

So hopefully in a couple weeks we'll find out if we're pregnant or not. PLEEEEAAASE WORK! ☺

Maybe....

Went to the doctor again today. My right ovary is being stupid like every other cycle I've ever had. Doc said my left egg is looking BEAUTIFUL! So he gave me a shot to take home (name unknown, and I don't feel like getting up to look at the package) and on Wednesday I have to give it to myself. It's supposed to make me ovulate. Thursday evening we're supposed to "do the deed" again. I'm hoping and praying! It lifted my spirits a little hearing my egg is pretty good looking. Maybe this month we'll have success. I HOPE!